52 Real Estate Jokes to Make Agents, Investors & Clients LOL
This article is part of a larger series on How to Become a Real Estate Agent.
Let’s face it: The real estate industry can be tough. There are so many constantly changing high points and low points for you and your clients that can be draining. Before responding negatively—like running away from your career or letting your clients give up—take a few minutes to breathe, grab your favorite cappuccino, and read through some real estate jokes to remember the positive and humor in every situation.
Here are 52 real estate jokes for your own enjoyment, your marketing, or even for your communications with clients to lighten the mood and remember why you became a real estate professional.
Real Estate Puns & Wordplay
When most people think of real estate agent jokes, they think about funny one-liners with puns and wordplay. Real estate puns like these are great to have on hand for social media or in-person conversations. Plus, it’s easy to turn any real estate joke into a brand-building piece of content by simply creating a graphic with Canva.
Canva social media templates (Source: Canva)
Canva is a graphic design tool with thousands of templates for every social media platform and print materials like postcards, flyers, and brochures. It takes less than five minutes to put a joke into a Canva-branded template, even if you have no previous design experience. Start using Canva for free.
1. Detective Real Estate Agent
Real estate detective (Source: Pinterest)
2. Try Holding a Bee
“Did you know property appraisers always carry a bee? Because the value is always in the eye of the Bee Holder.”
– Keron Howe, Property Nation
Home valuation website landing page (Source: Real Geeks)
This joke would be a unique and fun way to share your home valuation page by text, email, or social media. This is especially easy with a lead generation platform like Real Geeks, which offers customizable landing pages, email marketing, and SMS marketing. This is a great strategy to combine your personality with effective lead generation tools.
3. I Wanna Wish You a…
“What’s a Realtor’s favorite Christmas song? For Lease Navidad.”
– Ryan Fitzgerald, UpHomes
4. The Best-selling Properties
“My best-selling properties are listings with finished basements. They’re my best cellars!”
– Don Chambers, Real Estate Adventurer
5. How to Handle Rude Clients
“How did the real estate agent handle the rude client? She showed her some manors.”
– Anthony Minniti, Texas Land & Home
6. So Much to Be Thankful For
“What do agents have to be thankful for? Lots.”
– George Beatty, Problem Property Pals
7. The Weight of a House
“What kind of house weighs the least? A lighthouse.”
8. The Last House
“Have you heard about the last house in the neighborhood? It was last but not leased.”
– Mike Bevilacqua, Dominus Properties
Avail rental listing tool (Source: Avail)
This is an excellent joke for real estate investors or landlords. You can even use it to introduce a unit or property available for lease. With software like Avail, you can publish a rental listing and automatically get placements on top rental sites like Realtor.com, Apartments.com, and Redfin. It’s also a comprehensive property management software with additional tools to evaluate tenants, manage maintenance, and collect rent payments.
9. Dressed Up House
“What kind of dress does a house wear? An address.”
10. Profitable Insects
“How many insects do you need to make money from your rental unit? Ten-ants.”
– Mike Bevilacqua, Dominus Properties
11. Real Estate in Egypt
“I was offered the chance to buy some real estate in Egypt’s Valley of the Kings, but it turned out to be just a pyramid-selling scheme.”
– Sara Graves, US Title Loans
12. Hide Your License
“Why did an agent decide to hide his realtor license? Because he wanted to be a secret agent.”
– Sara Graves, US Title Loans
13. Two-story House
“A real estate agent sold me a two-story house, one story before the sale and the other after it.”
– John Riedl, Easy Cash Offer Florida
14. Mortgage Pick-up Line
“Hey girl, is your name mortgage? Because you’ve got my interest.”
– Ben Wagner, Leave the Key
15. Real Estate Therapy
‘Why was the Realtor in counseling? They couldn’t get closure.”
– Leonard Ang, iPropertyManagement
16. Bats & Real Estate Agents
“How are bats like real estate agents? It’s all echo-location location location.”
– Harrison Hosk, Keak
17. Scare the Zombies
“What room in your house are zombies most afraid of? The living room.”
– Ryan Fitzgerald, UpHomes
18. Mortgage Broker by Himself
“Why did the mortgage broker always eat lunch by himself? Because he was a loaner.”
19. Hipster Real Estate Agents
“The real reason why hipster real estate agents won’t show the oceanside property is that it’s too current.”
– Dan Belcher, Mortgage Relief
20. An Agent With a Ladder
“Why did the real estate agent bring a ladder to the open house?”
“Because they heard the property had high aspirations!”
– Neha Gharpande, Elite Properties
21. A Roof Joke
Real estate joke graphic by Kate Siciliano (Source: Facebook)
Real Estate Riddles & Stories
Riddles are another type of realtor joke that can be used strategically to share your personality, break tension, or build your online brand. The right riddle can make someone laugh out loud and can show clients that you understand how they’re feeling and know how to relate to them.
22. Landlord of a French Castle
A tour guide was leading a group of tourists through some of the most beautiful sights and sounds in France. One of the stops was a majestic, ancient castle in the countryside.
“This castle was built nearly 900 years ago,” said the guide. “All of the features are original—not one wall has been altered, and not a single stone has been changed. There has not been a single upgrade, superficial or functional, in all these years.”
When the tour guide said this, a man in the group nudged his wife and whispered in her ear: “Gosh honey, they must have the same landlords we do.”
– Marina Vaamonde, HouseCashin
23. The Devil & the Agent
“Look, I can make you richer, more famous, and more successful than any other Real Estate Agent alive,” the Devil tells a Real Estate Agent. “In fact, I can turn you into the greatest agent in history.”
“Well, what do I have to do in return?” replies the Real Estate Agent.
The Devil chuckles. “Of course, you must give me your soul,” he adds, “but you must also give me the souls of your children, your children’s children, and, in fact, you must give me the souls of all your descendants throughout eternity.”
“Wait a minute,” the Realtor cautions, “what’s the catch?”
– Inna Ivchenko, Barcode Properties
24. A Creative Lawyer
A lawyer who had 12 children was in a tight bind because his rental agreement was coming to an end, and he was looking for a new home. He could not easily find one because no one wanted a tenant who had 12 children who would most likely destroy the house.
Since he was a lawyer, he could not easily lie about his family situation. So on the day a new real estate agent came to meet up with him, he told 11 of his children and his wife to go to the cemetery.
During the interview, the real estate agent asked, “How many children do you have?”
He answered truthfully, “Twelve.”
Seeing he only has one beside him, the agent curiously asked, “Where are the rest, then?”
The lawyer answered with a sad look, “They’re in the cemetery with their mother.”
And that’s how his agreement was signed, and he was able to rent a new home without lying.
– Stephen Keighery, Home Buyer Louisiana
25. Wait Until the Signs Are Right
A small real estate broker was dismayed when a brand-new real estate franchise, much like his own, opened up next door and erected a huge sign that read, “BEST AGENTS.”
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his other side, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading “LOWEST COMMISSIONS.”
The small real estate broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own brokerage.
It read: “MAIN ENTRANCE.”
– Valorie Easter, eXp Realty
26. The Gypsy & the Doctor’s Houses
The gypsy and the doctor are both in the market looking for houses. The doctor decides that he wants his own custom house. So he buys a plot of land. And, seeing the doctor as a smart man, the gypsy does the same.
Once construction on the houses had begun, the gypsy copied everything the doctor did. The doctor put stones in his house, and so did the gypsy. The doctor built an interlock driveway, and so did the gypsy. In the end, both had identical houses.
A few months later, being the flexible person he is, the doctor decides to get his house appraised, and so does the gypsy.
When the real estate agent asked the doctor how much he thought the house was worth, the doctor immediately said $1 million. And so the real estate agent put up that price. Then the real estate agent asked the gypsy what he thinks his house is worth, and instantly the gypsy says $1.2 million.
The real estate agent asks the gypsy why he thinks his house is worth more if they both have the exact same, identical house. And the gypsy responds, “Because whoever buys my house has a doctor for a neighbor, but whoever buys his house gets a gypsy!”
– Jon Merry, Moneyzine
Real Estate Humor Conversation Starters
Funny real estate jokes can be used for a variety of purposes—it can be as simple as breaking the tension in person or sharing a post on Instagram. Realtor jokes can also be used as conversation starters helping you to share value in a unique and engaging way. The following jokes about real estate can be a perfect segue into an important topic that will intrigue leads.
27. Make a Million Bucks
“Finally figured out how to make a quick million bucks in real estate. Start out with 2 million, and in no time at all, you’ll have a million left!”
– Catherine Mack, House Buyer Network
28. House for Cats
“The real estate in my area is so hot right now, only cats can afford it. You’ll need nine lives to pay it off.”
– Ben Wagner, Leave the Key
29. Real Estate Calculation
Happy real estate agent joke (Source: Lighter Side of Real Estate)
30. A Listing Description That’s Too Good
“Did you sell your house?” her friend asked.
“No. After reading the real estate agent’s description of it, we decided it is just the place we’re looking for.”
– James Chapman, Bella Bathrooms
Real estate listing marketing materials (Source: Market Leader)
If you want a listing marketing plan that is as strong as this joke, consider using Market Leader. It’s a lead generation platform that also offers a full content marketing suite and automated listing marketing materials. Every time you publish a listing, the software will automatically send an email to your list, postcards to your mailing list, and create a single property website. Start leveraging Market Leader for better quality marketing today.
31. Realtors Screwing in a Lightbulb
“How many real estate agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”
“It takes just one realtor to screw your quality bulb into the gold-plated chandelier hanging from your vaulted ceiling with crown moldings and skylights in your English Tudor home located in an upscale neighborhood with a private lake and golf course. Must see!”
32. Listings With Climate Change
“Start worrying about climate change when realtors start listing properties as potential waterfront homes.”
– Dan Belcher, Mortgage Relief
33. Changing Dreams
Generations of a mortgage
(Source: Maximum Real Estate Exposure)
34. Pay Attention to the Signs
Signs real estate joke (Source: Biblio)
35. Mortgages & Appreciation
“If you ever get the feeling that you’re not important, try missing a mortgage payment.”
– Kurt Walker, Mill City Home Buyers
36. The Haunted Listing
“The real estate agent for our house says it’s haunted, but he’s talking nonsense. I’ve lived here 327 years and never seen anything.”
– Alex Lovesey, Property Snagging
37. New York Job Descriptions
“In New York, everybody is so status-conscious. When I lived in The Bronx, I had a neighbor who was an arsonist. But if you asked what he did for a living, he’d say he’s in real estate.”
– Shaun Eli, Brain Champagne
38. Girlfriend or Real Estate Agent?
Funny real estate agent Facebook post (Source: Facebook)
39. How a Real Estate Agent Is Like Wine
Real estate agent joke (Source: Facebook)
Unconventional Real Estate Jokes
When most people think of jokes, they think of knee-slapping humor or the comedy punchline drum roll. However, incorporating real estate humor into your brand can look much different than just funny one-liners about real estate. Jokes can be used as a graphic with text, as a recognizable meme, or even in video form. In addition, some realtor jokes that get the most engagement aren’t typical jokes with a punchline, but funny images of a real estate transaction or sarcastic quote.
For memes to use in your marketing right now, make sure you read 29 Relatable Real Estate Memes to Generate Laughs & Leads.
40. Real Estate Showings Comic
Seller’s market comic (Source: Facebook)
41. Real Estate Market Surprises
Real estate home prices meme
(Source: TikTok)
42. Proof of Funds
Real estate proof of funds (Source: Facebook)
43. A Real Estate Listing Feature
DIY outdoor pool in a real estate listing
(Source: Facebook)
44. Buyers Watching Interest Rates
@whatsamortgage interest rate joke
(Source: TikTok)
45. Home Inspection Easter Egg
Funny home inspection image (Source: Facebook)
46. Real Estate Listing Humor
Bathroom feature in a real estate listing (Source: LinkedIn)
47. Exaggerated Mortgage Requirements
Stuart Grazier LinkedIn real estate joke (Source: LinkedIn)
48. An Honest Real Estate Broker
Real estate company comic (Source: LinkedIn)
Real Estate Investor Jokes
Being a real estate investor can be an exciting but stressful career choice, and it requires a different type of marketing than being an agent. Real estate investing jokes can be used to find comic relief in your day, connect with other investors, or market yourself to homeowners.
Buildium property manager dashboard (Source: Buildium)
As you market yourself and build your investment portfolio, make sure you have the right tools at your fingertips. For example, Buildium is a property management software with features for accounting, screening tenants, advertising properties, and tracking your business performance. Try it for free today.
49. Florida Real Estate Jokes
“Here in Florida, we have alligators who actually own rental properties. We call them invest-igators.”
– Jeff Cody, Next Bridge Home Solutions
50. The Strength of Real Estate Agents & Investors
“Why are real estate agents so strong? Because they flip houses.”
– Alex Lovesey, Property Snagging
Sample lead information (Source: REDX)
Whether you flip your own properties or work with investors, knowing how to find leads with distressed properties is an important skill. REDX is an ideal tool that offers niche real estate leads, like expired listings, preforeclosures, and FSBOs, along with a built-in customer relationship manager (CRM) and dialer. Try using REDX to find new houses to flip.
51. Prime Real Estate
“An investor was puzzled. He knew his best return on investment was to split his property into equally sized spaces. No matter what he did, it was impossible. Finally he figured out it was impossible, because it was PRIME real estate.”
– Catherine Mack, House Buyer Network
52. The Wizard of Oz & Real Estate Investing
Wicked witch flipping a house comic
(Source: Facebook)
When to Use Real Estate Jokes
Becoming a real estate agent and building a successful business is undeniably stressful. However, there are so many good things about being an agent, like the ability to work on your own time and help people find the perfect home for themselves and their families. It’s important for both experienced and new real estate agents to sit back, relax, and have fun with their businesses.
In turn, enjoying your business can actually help you find more clients and establish your real estate brand with humor. Most people don’t want to work with someone who isn’t passionate about real estate or is visibly stressed out. Share jokes on social media posts, marketing materials, during company or team meetings, or as an icebreaker during an appointment with a client.
Here are a couple of examples of how realtor jokes can be used effectively in-person and in your real estate social media marketing strategy:
Using jokes in your real estate Facebook posts is a great way to generate engagement. It’s important to share your listings, open houses, and client wins on social media, but many of your followers might ignore those posts if they’re not entertaining as well. When you share relatable real estate jokes on Facebook, however, it’s easier to get more likes, comments, and shares, which helps increase your exposure.
In fact, you don’t have to use only jokes about realtors or funny one-liners about real estate. Philadelphia realtor Mark Turner frequently shares jokes, memes, and even funny articles on his Facebook page that aren’t always clearly related to real estate.
Termite pun on real estate agent Facebook page
(Source: Facebook)
Since the focus of Instagram is photos and videos, it’s a perfect place for real estate memes or images with different kinds of real estate jokes. It’s a great way to use your branding on a simple graphic, or include your own face, like @realtor_skoloda.
Even though LinkedIn is a platform primarily for business connections, it doesn’t always have to be extremely serious. Even corporate or commercial real estate clients can appreciate your sense of humor. One of the best real estate agent tips is to repurpose your content on as many platforms as possible. LinkedIn is ideal for this because you can post many different types of content, including plain text, images, videos, and articles.
ReHome Africa realtor joke on LinkedIn (Source: LinkedIn)
Read more about how to generate leads on LinkedIn in our article: How to Generate Real Estate Leads on LinkedIn (+ Pro Tips).
Direct mail is a popular and effective real estate marketing tool that can help you increase brand exposure, build your authority, and get new clients. Using humor and unique designs on your real estate mailers, you’ll stand out from the sea of competing real estate agents in your area. There is a wide variety of punny real estate postcard templates available online, or you could make your own.
Funny taco real estate mailer template (Source: Etsy)
Even though it’s important to maintain professionalism, the best real estate agents build genuine friendships and relationships with their clients. Use real estate jokes and memes is a natural way to bring laughter into your communication with clients. Going through any kind of real estate transaction is exciting, stressful, and scary for clients, so helping them enjoy the experience can change their entire perspective.
In fact, here’s one example of how Raleigh real estate broker Ryan Fitzgerald used a realtor joke with one of his clients:
“I had a client who was feeling swamped by the homebuying process. So, I decided to break the ice by sending them a lighthearted email with a real estate joke. I picked one about house hunting and tagged it at the end of my message. Much to my delight, the client responded with a hearty laugh and appreciated the jestful approach. It instantly eased the tension, and we resumed our conversation with a relaxed demeanor. That was my ‘Eureka!’ moment, realizing how powerful humor can be in forging relationships and making the real estate journey memorable for clients.”
Real estate humor in client texts
(Source: LinkedIn)
Another way to incorporate jokes about real estate is with short video trends on TikTok. With simple, funny audio or CapCut templates, you can present a real estate situation that shows more of your personality or helps connect with potential leads’ sense of humor. Plus, many TikTok videos are well under 10 seconds and frequently generate hundreds of thousands of views.
@mcki.needham TikTok real estate humor (Source: TikTok)
Make sure you know all the best ways to use TikTok for your business by reading 12 Ways to Generate Leads on TikTok for Real Estate Agents.
Social media post builder (Source: Constant Contact)
The most efficient way to incorporate realtor jokes into your marketing strategy is by using a tool that easily maps out your content and even helps optimize it for each platform. Constant Contact is an email and digital marketing tool that helps you create social media posts and emails, schedule them, and keep track of detailed analytics to continually improve your marketing. Try Constant Contact today.
Bottom Line
Even though being successful in real estate takes serious hardwork, being able to enjoy a good joke and incorporate humor into your business can actually boost your productivity and engagement. Use these funny realtor jokes to relieve stress, connect with a fellow agent or client, or include in your social media marketing strategy.
